Stay at Home Cat Mom: Funemployment

So I wrote this post last week, and in that time I got a job offer! It's exciting, and a little nerve wracking that I'll be living a conventional work schedule for the first time in over two years. It definitely feels like the final return to reality after Peace Corps.

We've been in our apartment for almost a month, and for that whole month I've been funemployed. I cook, take mid morning and late afternoon naps, and go on interviews that leave me standing on the border of the abyss side of hopeless. In a way I've been lucky to have the luxury of moving into a new place while unemployed - I'm always home for deliveries and cable guys, I can spend hours rearranging my collage wall of decorations, and I can drink wine at the pool. I also spend hours worrying about getting a job, looking at my budget sheet with an existential sense of doom, and regretting spending twenty dollars at Half Price Books.

quality time with Tut

When I'm in those deep, dark miserable worries about getting a job, I try to think about how some time soon, I will have a job and I'll be grounded and can look back at this relatively brief time of funemployment with fondness and envy. Who else can go grocery shopping at 10:30 am with all the senior citizens in the area? I'll miss afternoon walks to the library and getting to lay around all day meow-ing with Tut.

I try to be peaceful, I try to be present. I think about what Warsan Shire wrote:

“The sun is perfect and you woke this morning. You have enough language in your mouth to be understood. You have a name, and someone wants to call it. Five fingers on your hand and someone wants to hold it. If we just start there, every beautiful thing that has and will ever exist is possible. If we start there, everything, for a moment, is right in the world.”

That's almost a good book reccomendation. Here's a few good looks from last week:

top- j crew outlet, leggings- Victoria's Secret, boots- Target 

I wore this outfit to tailgate Pittsburgh's Rib Fest [and to eat ribs].

denim vest- thrifted, tank top- tj maxx, maxi skirt- target

Even though its been muggy and humid all week, all I want to wear is boots. Tights would've been miserably hot and sweaty, so I wore my thigh highs. Cool crotch for a cool girl.

so cool. thigh highs- torrid, boots- deena & ozzy

I wore this headband all weekend to try and hide my constantly sweaty bangs. It's an old piece from NY&Co.

eye liner: elf, lips: OCC lip tar

I wore this on a friendventure:

blouse- weird indonesian shop, jeggings- target,  boots- deena & ozzy

Once again, needed to put my bangs back as soon as I went outside. Also, I bought these nonessential sunglasses at Target and felt wildly extravagant, but, whatever I have a job now.

all I'm wearing here is Bare Escentuals Prime Time primer & matte foundation

current arm party: coin bracelet- cambodian, glass bracelet- smithsonian, hamsa bracelet- indonesian,
claddagh ring- thrifted

bonus face: wearing NARS The Multiple Orgasm stick as blush and lip, elf eyeliner 

Good Looks and Good Books: The One About the Crop Top

This past weekend the stars aligned and a bunch of my close friends were in town, both from college and Peace Corps. There were several straight nights of little sleep and lots of rowdy shenanigans. This is everything fun that I wore [not including all the yoga pants and hoodies every morning].

Thursday my sorority sister from out of town came to visit, and we went for a sunbathe at the pool. My suit, aka fatkini, is from My Sugar Doll, an Etsy shop that specializes in retro style bathing suits. They size up to XL [about 14/16, measurement-wise], and also do made-to-measure suits.

traditionally paired with Lolita style heart sunglasses

And later that night we went to a bar trivia tournament, where I scored some crucial points with the question, "what movie includes James Franco, Gucci Mane, and Selena Gomez as actors?" [Spring Breakers, only one of my favorite films of 2012].

everything I'm wearing was purchased like 4 years ago. tank top: nordstrom, jean cut offs: hacked from a pair of Target skinnies, balconette bra: cacique

Friday saw a big impromptu mixer of my college friends and Peace Corps friends, bonding over games of Kings and late night Sheetz. I didn't take a great outfit picture, so here's me and one of my sorority sisters looking A+. 

body-con lace insert dress: target, quilted chain bag: asos

Solid Saturday full of recovery later, we celebrated a friend's birthday and wound up dancing at a surprisingly fun bar in the South Side of Pittsburgh. Which leads me to talk about fat girls in crop tops. 

I've been into the world of fat acceptance/body positivity/fat babe lifestyle for years now. I don't particularly prescribe to any "flattering" rules, and I like to wear what I like. It still took 22 years of life to feel comfortable wiping my face with my shirt at the gym [which I wrote an essay about in the fat babe anthology "Hot & Heavy" and you can read it over here]. Last summer when I bought my fatkini was the first time I'd ever worn a real two piece. Body acceptance is a life long adventure, in my opinion. There are plenty of days when I feel weird or antagonistic towards my body, instead of loving. But Saturday night was not one of those nights, I was pretty pumped about putting this outfit together. For sure, its a bit outrageous, but South Side is kind of trashy so I thought it was an apt fit. In a brief moment of confessional, there's always a pause I feel when I'm going to wear something that's more boundary pushing for a fat girl. I really don't experience any street harassment in regards to my weight, but I always have a fleeting moment of apprehension. Ironically, the only person who said anything was a creeper who tried to hit on me at the bar, and when I turned him down he told Michelle I shouldn't be wearing "that top." NICE!

I'm obsessed with the current trends of sheer and lacy. My top is a brand-less thrift store find from the lingerie section. Sadly, I gave up on the shoes [a spring 2011 Chloe knock off clog] because trying to walk around my friend's hilly neighborhood of Mt Washington is nearly impossible in heels.

top: thrifted, bra: cacique, high waisted trousers: asos, clogs: tj maxx

I was inspired by some old college photos to chop in some bangs Saturday night. I also had a bang up face that day. Bold brows and lips are all I really need. I'm deeply committed to my Urban Decay liner, but that night I also used Michelle's lip stain, which lived up to its "endless" advertising. This face was smudge proof.

face: l'oreal magic skin bb cream, brows: random shadow, eyes: liner- elf, mascara- maybelline great lash, lips: urban decay 24/7 pencil in 69 + kat von d liquid lipstick in outlaw

Sunday I had lunch with a big group of Peace Corps friends. I wore this super darling dress that I didn't take a picture of in the moment, so here it is back when I lived at my parents house. 

dress: target, sunglasses: thrifted

But remember, I have bangs now, so it was ten times more adorable.

quantifiable adorableness 

As a bonus, this is what I wore to a job hunting related appointment today. The elevator was SO GREAT for selfies.

tunic: target, dress pants: target, flats: seychelles, bag: michael kors

But hey, I'm not just a pretty face! I also read, a lot. During my 27 months of Peace Corps, I read over 200 books. I've carved out a home library:

one of the ten days of sunshine Pittsburgh gets a year.

And this week I'm finishing up 20th Century Ghosts, a collection of short stories by Joe Hill [who happens to be the son of Stephen King]. Some of them are creepy crawly horror stories, like the editor who lives out a horror story in the meta "Best New Horror," or the grotesque, Kafka nightmare of "You Will Hear the Locust Sing." But my favorite stories have more heart than horror, and read more like surreal, weird fiction than horror genre. The title story is a love story for any cinephile, and I shed a few tears over the friendship in "Pop Art." But I do crave the adrenalin rush of a good scare, so I hope something really messed up happens in the last few stories.

Journalism wise, I am a bit out of the loop with all this gallivanting this weekend. Obviously there are some really important current events that deserve coverage, like the unrest in Ferguson. But for a fluff piece that I really enjoyed, Nitasha Tuku at Gawker wrote an article on the surge of in-app purchases, including games and third party services such as Uber and Seamless. It's fascinating and worrying to think about how smartphone spending is affecting my millennial generation, with our already shaky foothold in the economy.

Tell me what you're reading or what your favorite lip color is. I'm considering branching out to nude lipsticks? Any recommendations?